Arousing Alternatives to the Missionary Position

Dear Dr. Patti:

I have tried many sexual positions and still can't be fully aroused. Is there anything you can suggest? --N

Question:

Dear N:

First, sexual positions are not the Holy Grail for arousal, although they certainly are a part of the whole enchilada of satisfying sex.

However, studies and clinical reports often show that the rear entry, or "doggie style," position is one of the most satisfying for women to achieve orgasm. By having a male's penis in your vagina from behind, it gives the male added visual or tactile pleasure and mobility for thrusting.

Most important, though, it provides intensified clitoral stimulation from the joining of two bodies in this way. His body weight, the angle of his penile shaft on your vulva and the sensations of the thrusting or pounding action can all combine to support your getting off. Plus, this liberates his hands to rub on your clitoris or touch your breasts, if those are sexually arousing for you.

Most sexologists debate this issue: Are there different orgasms that occur in a woman's body? My opinion is (and my experience with hundreds of female clients shows) that there seem to be three distinct types of orgasms: clitoral, G-spot and vaginal. In fact, if you add the anal cavity there may even be four! By having a turgid member inside your vaginal barrel, with the man's penis penetrating and leaning on the vulva, you can experience heightened pleasure from this technique.

Also, the front-to-back, or "spoons," position can work well. Lying on your side, with your partner facing the back side of your body and penetrating you from behind, can provoke similar responses to the doggie position's. Check out the famous lovemaking manual Kama Sutra, available in most bookstores, and experiment with what else may add a positive charge to your romping. With a shift of perception about what may work for you and an attitude of playfulness, I know that you will find new ways for arousal and pleasure. So go for it!

Dr. Patti

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