Photo Credit: Courtesy of NBC.com
Tina Fey has proved that she can co-rule the Golden Globes, but can she do the same for Twitter? The 30 Rock star has laid out her ground rules for the site in a hilarious new NBC video, and it's up to us to determine if we'd be willing to follow them. Watch here:
As you likely already know, Fey doesn't have a Twitter account, and that's because she thinks the site is insanely boring. In fact, she thinks users should be forced to get a license to use the social media site because "most people are so f--king boring that they should shut up." That idea propelled her into what she has decided is her post-30 Rock plan: Be the licenser of Twitter.
"I am volunteering to be in charge of licensing," she says in the video. "That's it, I've figured out what I want to do. When the show's over, I want to be the person who decides whether you should have a Twitter."
Without further ado, here are Tina Fey's guide to using Twitter -- and the lessons to be learned from them:
Only Saturday Night Live Writers Paula Pell And Alex Baze Should Have Twitter Accounts
Well, this one's a bit divisive. Fey claims that only @perlapell (Paula Pell) and @bazecraze (Alex Baze) should be allowed to have Twitter accounts. While theirs might be hilarious, maybe we need a little bit more variety here. After all, even two hilarious writers get boring when that's all anyone reads.
Lesson to be learned: Leave the comedy to the comedians.
You Should Keep Things A Little Closer To Your Chest
Beyond Pell and Baze, Fey thinks that most people don't have opinions worth sharing. If you do, as Fey says, "go write it in a journal and mail it to your f--king grandma." That seems a bit extreme, but Fey should get props for telling people to speak to their grandparents more.
Lesson to be learned: Share things with your family before you tell them to the rest of the world.
Don't Simply Tweet "Happy Birthday" To Someone
Fey seems to get really riled up when people tweet "happy birthday" to friends and celebrities "in front of the entire world." She thinks you should "just contact that person!" Why? Because "you're wasting the Internets, or something. It's going to hurt the Ozone or something." While we're not sure that's how science works, there is something to be said about this point. We're supporters of the whole "wish a happy birthday to someone in every medium you can" mentality, though.
Lesson to be learned: Don't forget to pick up your phone.
Even if You Hate Twitter, You Can Still Have an Alias
According to Fey, she does have a Twitter identity: @marthastewartlivingturkeytips. Yes according to the 42-year-old actress, she's the person behind the turkey tips that get us through Thanksgiving. "Even though they're legit tips on how to prepare a turkey, know that it's me and I'm doing it as a f--king joke. Ha ha, Twitter!" she says.
Lesson to be learned: Tina Fey understands trolling, even if she doesn't understand Twitter.
Tweet About 30 Rock
Fey might not like Twitter as a medium, but she understands the way it can be used to promote content. That's why she's okay with you posting as many boring tweets as you want... as long as they're about 30 Rock. You don't have much longer to go, since 30 Rock goes off the air on Jan. 31.
Lesson to be learned: We love you, Tina Fey.