Awards Overload: No More Envelopes, Please

Here’s my dirty little secret: I have not one teeny iota of interest in awards ceremony shows. The Oscars, the Emmys, the People’s Choice Awards, the Grammys? Nope. Nada, zilch, zip. None of them do anything for me. Amazing, huh?

I know I must not be alone here – but hey, it certainly feels like it as I write this late Sunday afternoon when the rest of the planet is on countdown to The Big Event. The E! channel is positively on overdrive – Oscar’s even managed to interrupt its “all Anna, all the time” coverage – and my fave gossips mags have felled whole forests to feed the frenzy. But what really pushed me over the edge was the statue-shaped sugar cookies in my local gourmet shop. What’s next: “Happy Oscars” greeting cards? Giant inflatable gold statues on red carpeted front lawns? Academy Award-themed Happy Meals?

For the record, I have nothing against awards shows and the Oscars in particular. In fact, I love movies (I’ve even seen most all the films up for awards) and indulge in a chick flick habit that someone who pledged to love me in sickness and in health recently described as “bordering on obsession.” I just don’t really care who wins what, what they say when they do, who they thank, or even (collective gasp here) what they wear.

Maybe I’m just on American Idol overload; after all, there is only just so much brain matter that I can afford to devote to this stuff. Then again, if Idol cast-off Jennifer Hudson gets her oh-so-well deserved golden statue (take that, Simon Scowl), I might just have to reconsider my anti-awards show position.



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