I’m feeling a bit better this week. I’ve not completely conquered my distaste for water. I’m just trying to drink it when I’m doing something else, watching TV, cooking, etc. That way I don’t notice it as much. I’m really not sleeping any better, but I think I’m readjusting to life without sleep. I suppose that I need to get back into that habit anyway, since this baby will need to eat often once it arrives. I think I’m doing a little better about being irritable. Either that or my husband and son have adapted to the “new” me.
Jacob has had a wonderful week. Four days running, he’s obeyed my every request, on the first try. We’re making every effort to move him to his own bed for the majority of the night. Not only will that allow Rob and I a little time alone, I’m hoping it will make the transition to baby-in-the-house easier on him. Each night we lay down together. He nurses for the first few minutes, but has more often than not been asking me just to rub his back and hug him as he drifts off. Then, he sleeps until early morning at which point he comes back into our bed so I can sleep a bit longer. He likes to nurse during this period, but has been increasingly accepting of just more rubbing and cuddling.
I guess what all this means is that he’s working on weaning himself. He still tells me he’s “drinking milk” when he’s nursing, but I’m beginning to doubt him. I can no longer express anything. I never did have much luck with the breast pump, hence the reason Jacob had so few bottles when he was little, but I could generally express half an ounce or so at a time. I do realize that milk turns back to colostrum at about this time in a pregnancy and Jacob is certainly eating and drinking enough on his own, so I’m not worried. I am a bit sad to see him wean. I’m torn.
I’m afraid that to some degree Jacob’s feeling left out. He awoke with a scream the other night. He’d been sleeping in our bed. All was quiet at 3am, when all of a sudden he started crying uncontrollably. I tried to comfort him and as he calmed down a bit let him nurse. He told me he was scared but wouldn’t tell me why other than to say “dream”. He finally settled down and went to sleep in my arms. It wasn’t until he woke up a few hours later that he looked at me and said "Mama, dream. Mommy, Daddy take baby in. Leave Jacob car." That just about reduced me to tears. My poor little boy thought that we would actually take the new baby with us while leaving him behind.