I sure am glad my DVR is smarter than I am.
I never would have remembered that The Bachelor was on tonight at its new time slot if it was not brizilliant. This, coming from someone who hangs on the program's every word. DVRs are so choice; if you do not have one, I highly recommend picking one up.
Believe it or not, bloggers are, in fact, human. And, from time to time, we're wrong.
So it probably comes as no surprise that we were totally blown away by Jenni's elimination.*
*Oh, I got you so good! Yeah right, like Brad would eliminate Jenni! Mwahahaha.
This week we were mixing it up a bit: A one-on-one date, a two-on-one date, and a group date for everyone else. Turns out, someone on the two-on-one was going to be eliminated! Sacre bleu!
But no time for that, Basket O’ Stuff No. 1 has arrived. Turns out, Jenni’s name is the only one on the card, and there’s a toy helicopter inside! Looks like a road trip. Of sorts.
As Brad touches down in the helicopter to pick Jenni up, the other girls notice their sexual chemistry and immediately confess their jealousy. Sheena brings up a good point in confession: Is Jenni more into Brad, or the competition? It seems a lot of girls are starting to wonder…
Jenni confesses, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever done!” Yeah, being on a helicopter is so unique. It’s so totally not anything like the airplane you clearly had to take to get to the house in the first place.
Brad and Jenni arrive at their rooftop destination and have a great meal. Candles are everywhere.
“If I don’t get the rose, I’m going to jump off this building!” Jenni yelled.
The pair head to a couch that’s perfectly set in the middle of said rooftop and as they cuddle and kiss, Jenni says all the right things that Brad wants to hear and gets the rose. Clearly, she is living in a fairy tale, and Brad digs it. My only concern is that one day they’ll actually wake up IN THE REAL WORLD and realize that there’s not some perfect romantic template that’s based on a Jane Austin novel.
If someone is as emotionally open as Jenni, there are two extremes that the girls in the house will take:
- That she's a slut.
- That she’s a turbo slut.
The jury’s still out on that verdict.
Basket O’ Stuff No. 2 arrives and everyone else is invited to an improv show… except for DeAnna and Jade. Since DeAnna and McCarten are brought out to be the ones pumping the other girls for information about their feelings, it comes as no surprise that these two were selected for the two-on-one in a ratings coup d’etat.
The group took a double-decker bus to the improv show, and I won’t lie: I was mostly impressed they found a random double-decker bus. You don’t see those every day.
The group went to Comedy Sports LA for a “class” that turned into the show itself. The cast wasn’t totally mean to the girls, though – they put the girls through their warm-ups to prep for the evening’s show. That was nice, since, "Hey, get up here and do something" is not usually a very inspirational statement.
Notable on this date: Bettina grabs a party hat, uses it as a substitute megaphone, and yells to Brad that she loves him. (In confessional, she explains that she meant it.) Kristy is uncomfortable in the spotlight and cries. Apparently, begging Brad for the rose like a dog is a desired trait in improv trainees. Hillary dressed as a cheerleader; no doubt figuring if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
As Kristy sobbed on Brad’s shoulders about her insecurity of being put on the spot, it became apparent that crying worked on Brad, and all the girls knew it. Would Kristy cry about everything in their future relationship?
“I’m too uncomfortable to meet your mother.”
“I’m too uncomfortable to pick out these drapes.”
“I’m too uncomfortable to vacuum under the couch.”
While Brad said Hillary “stole the show,” Bettina got the rose for coming out of her shell.
Basket O’ Stuff No. 3 arrived for Jade and DeAnna, and it appeared a cookout was in order. Yay. Fun.
As per my live-in peanut gallery (AKA my roomie), DeAnna already deserves to win because she’s a strong, confident woman who is wearing pants and not some little sundress to sex it up. Amen.
DeAnna must be nervous, since she continues to blatantly interrupt Jade to one-up her. As Jade chimes in that she’s had it rough, working since she was 16, DeAnna coins in that she’s been working since she was 14. Both girls say they’d move to Austin, but DeAnna’s long-winded answer seems to hit the mark. Despite Brad’s one-on-one with Jade, she was sent packing.
DeAnna then accepted her rose and got in the hot tub with Brad, where they promptly began making out. Why is it every time there's a hot tub on a reality show, people just makeout in it 24/7? Could someone please explain to me the magic of the hot tub. I mean, I get it: It's warm. It has strategically placed jet streams. And it wasn’t like DeAnna was forced to make out with him or anything ... he only gave her a rose on national television and there was only a small crowd of 15 or so crew members peer pressuring her to, but no worries!
As the rest of the girls waited for the rose ceremony to start, Bettina confesses her thoughts that the girls on the show aren’t sure of what love is because they haven’t had it yet, whereas she once was the same way and it didn’t work out. They seem confused, and as they have no comparative experience, chastise her. Hillary even went so far as to refer to Bettina as a used car that would need to have its tires checked. Wow, she is clearly delusional. She should remember that when she points her finger at someone else, three more point back at her.
Upon arriving back at the house, DeAnna explained that she wasn’t there to make a bunch of friends and take them with her. Also, Brad confesses that Kristy may be overqualified to date him, as he is a simple person who requires someone a little simpler. When cornered by the women to admit who was the first kiss, he tells them it was Jenni on Day 2.
Bettina is hurt by the news. Hell, even Hillary got beaten to the punch. Everything was only pseudo-sucky until the girls cornered Jenni and she admitted to hoping Jade would stay because DeAnna was her biggest competition. This proved to a lot of the girls (Bettina especially) that Jenni viewed the show as a competition and not as a chance at love. Bettina does care for Brad, but is it romantic or maternal?
We could take this time to tell you McCarten broke down in her one-on-one, but we'll pass.
At the rose ceremony, we found out who was still in:
Thusly, we bid a fond farewell to McCarten, Jade and Estefania. We hadn’t seen much of Estefania these past few episodes, so overall I agree with the choices that left. Jade may have stayed on longer, but since Day 1, everyone has called the chemistry between DeAnna and Brad. It’s now official: I’m calling final two to be DeAnna and Jenni. Roomie concurs.
As at this point, it really is more about the girls'
looks personalities, but it's always fun to take a look at the 'ol spreadsheet, eh? Of the girls left, we have a 23, a 25, three 27's and a 29. All except Hillary are from the Midwest/South/West region. All appear to have higher education. We're split between blondes and brunettes, and have three brown eyes, 1 green and two blue.
It really gets interesting once we start talking about the girls who left. We lost a 24 and our two 26's. All were from major cities, two from the South and one from the West. Two appeared to have higher education. All were brunettes with brown eyes and olive skin. Did they all blend too much together? On paper, it does look like he eliminated three of the same girl. Craziness.
Up next week:
Bettina’s (still) in love with Brad!
Hillary leaves in a shocking twist!
Sheena hurts her ankle right before her solo date! Seriously, is this house possessed? Will anyone ever make it down the deadly staircase without permanent injury?!
Find out next week on ...The Bachelor