Photo Credit: ABC/Dave Hagerman
Monday night's three-hour Bachelor (ABC, Monday, 8 p.m. ET) finale comes down to this: Sean Lowe must choose between Catherine Giudici and Lindsay Yenter. Should he offer the Neil Lane engagement ring to Yenter, the blond-highlighted, 24-year-old teacher from North Carolina? Or should he choose Giudici, the 26-year-old Eurasian beauty (she's half European, half Filipino) from Seattle?
We're going with Catherine "I'm a vegan but I love the beef" Giudici. Though this graphic designer for Amazon didn't get a lot of screen time early in the season, she made the most of the moments she did get. Her food preferences comment, in episode 2, got a big laugh from Lowe -- and lots of critical commentary by entertainment bloggers. Was she referring to real beef, or Sean's beefcake-y bod? (Ironically, this was one of the rare scenes in Season 16 when the Bachelor did not appear shirtless.) Or was she hinting at something even more suggestive? She was, after all, flirting with The Bachelor franchise's first-ever virgin, a guy who's proclaimed that he's saving himself for marriage. If so, then this girl's got some ... uh, cojones. Just sayin'.
Later, in Thailand, Guidici teasingly made Lowe guess the phrase she's just learned in the Thai language. And what do you know? It turns out to be "I love the beef." Okay, subtlety isn't her strong suit -- but a guy like Lowe needs a woman who speaks plainly. When meeting her family, he actually asked them if the obviously smitten Catherine is ready to settle down. Granted, producers no doubt told him to ask this question, and to obsess over the answer for at least an episode or two. They've got to drum up intrigue somehow.
Speaking of the producers: They have once again gone out of their way to keep us guessing until the end. Creepily (as usual), Lowe spends a lot of time making out with both finalists in Thailand. "It feels like it's just us two in the world," Giudici narrates in this montage, as clips of him kissing Yenter dissolve into clips of him kissing her. More confusing: He's even already bought Yenter a diamond ring. (Holy mixed signals, Batman!)
As always, the promo hints at a "bombshell finale." Lowe is shown reading a hand-written letter. "I can't believe she did that to me," he exclaims. Did what? Did what? Prior experience with this show tells us that this letter will turn out to be a minor twist at most, but we appreciate the show's promo team. They really do give it their all!
If Giudici does get her beefcake in the end, we can expect a wedding sooner rather than later. It's been three months of our celibate Bachelor fondling women in hot tubs and on beaches. No doubt he's ready for his wedding night.