Photo Credit: ABC
Why are we opening the show with Michelle? She's got a black eye? What does she mean, "Only this could be happening to me"? Over breakfast she asks the other bachelorettes who kicked her ass while she was sleeping. Everyone's a suspect! She thinks the black eye means that she deserves a one-on-one date with Brad. Exactly what the logic behind that is, she does not explain.
Anyway, the first date card arrives, and it reads: "Chantal -- How deep is your love? Brad." She's not the Shawntel who's a funeral director, she's the Chantal with the huge rack. Brad shows up to say hello to everyone, and Michelle instantly tries to monopolize the conversation by sulking about her black eye. As usual, Brad really doesn't know how to react when a womanfolk opens up to him.