'The Bachelor' Recap: "What's Wrong with You? Tell Me."

The Bachelor is still ruining New York as we open this week, with Brad packing up to go to South Africa. Jesus Christ, South Africa. First Apartheid, now you let The Bachelor come over? Brad feels excited, anxious and nervous. "I thought I had things under control.

Not a clue," he says, adding that he's freaking out, and he's scared to give himself to someone, and he has trust issues, and a whole lot of crybaby whining that sounds like it's all adding up to guaranteeing yet another season of The Bachelor that scars many women and viewers emotionally but produces no marriage. Of course, Brad doesn't want to be oh-fer-two: "I don't want to be that guy again. I'm terrified of ending up alone," he says, which is always a recipe for relationship success.

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