Photo Credit: ABC
Bachelor fans are accustomed to watching romance taken to the extreme. In promo voiceovers, routine episodes are “reality events,” every show ends with “the most dramatic rose ceremony in Bachelor history” and every elimination is -- by far! -- the most difficult decision the bachelor has ever had to make. So when ABC called The Bachelor: The Women Tell All the “most shocking” tell-all of all time, we should have known better.
That said, while last night's two-hour special reuniting this season's scorned Bachelor castoffs wasn't the most shocking TV broadcast in history, it was salaciously entertaining. Here, we’ve broken down the confessions according to how far they made our jaws drop:
When bubbly blonde Ashleigh Hunt “tripped” and fell into Jake’s arms on the first night, it wasn’t an accident. “I practiced the fall in front of the mirror,” she said. So sneaky!
Marriage-obsessed Michelle Kujawa -- who managed to cry on camera more than Jake did! -- insisted she doesn’t need a therapist. (Of course, the crazy ones always think they’re totally sane.)
Where bachelor Jake Pavelka’s appearance could have been his chance to finally let down his guard, instead he was dull and reserved. When host Chris Harrison asked how he’s doing now, his reply was bland: “I’m happy.” Snooze.
Other women in the house voiced our exact thoughts about finalist Tenley Molzahn: Nice girl. Talks like a Disney character. In fact, when finalist Vienna Girardi said, “I think she might dream in cartoons,” she took the words right out of our mouths!
Crowd-favorite Ali Fedotowsky was consistently lovable during this season -- except when it came to finalist Vienna. However, when put in the hot seat, Ali was surprisingly apologetic for her Mean Girl antics. “I learned that I’m very blunt,” she said. “And not in a good way. I look back on that, and I’m disappointed in my actions. So, Vienna, if you’re watching, I’m sorry.” Obviously Ali’s trying to climb back on that high road (perhaps gunning to be the next Bachelorette?), but it still takes guts to admit you when you're wrong.
And then there was the return of Rozlyn Papa -- kicked off the show early on for her inappropriate relationship with an ABC crew member -- who was pegged as “the most controversial television figure of 2010!” (Um, are they forgetting about Jay Leno?) She had the perfect opportunity to demonstrate some candor, but she continued to play dumb about her alleged tryst! Then again, Rozlyn hadn’t exactly proven herself to be scrupulous -- why would she be honest now?
What was shocking about Rozlyn's appearance was the extremely defensive stance she took, faced with certain accusations. When one contestant insisted she saw Rozlyn making out with the producer in question by saying, “I swear on my dog’s life,” Rozlyn’s rebuttal was: “On my child’s life, that’s not true.” Now that’s taking things too far! And when Rozlyn couldn’t handle the heat, she actually attempted to shift the focus onto Chris Harrison. Rozlyn said Harrison claimed to be close with the crew member before he was fired for the alleged shenanigans. “Well, that was news to him,” she said. “Especially when you were hitting on his wife in New Zealand.” Whoa! Chris is just the neutral host -- can’t we leave him out of this?
As usual, the reunion episode answered some questions (Jake only sees Ali as a “friend”) and raised even more (Is Rozlyn campaigning for a best-actress award?). And let's not forget, the biggest question will be answered next week. Who will Jake choose? Vienna, the assertive Haylie Duff lookalike? Or Tenley, the sugary-sweet Disney princess? Either way, odds are it will be absolutely, without a doubt, the MOST SHOCKING BACHELOR FINALE OF ALL TIME.
What did you think of The Bachelor: The Women Tell All? Chime in below!