Banish Sexual Boredom

My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about eight months. We love to explore new ways to make each other happy, but we are running out of exotic and exciting ideas. Do you have any ideas? --V


Dear V:

Often couples fall into a rut with one or two tried-and-true sexual positions. That can lead to sexual boredom and can even erode an otherwise good relationship.

As you may know, I avidly advocate the use of erotic instructional videos for couples' sexual enhancement. There are many new and exciting sexual enhancement videos today. Go to my site and check out two of my favorites: The Complete Guide to Oral Lovemaking and The Complete Guide to Sexual Positions. They are chock full of new ideas. The positions video contains actual demonstrations of more than 100 positions. With all that variety, surely you will find some you have not yet attempted.

There is also another new video, Kama Sutra, Tantra and Tao, available from Pacific Media Entertainment (1-800-262-7367), which features exotic sexual techniques and creative acts to inspire intimate pleasure. You may want to visit the site on tantric sexuality at for in-depth knowledge of esoteric sexual practices, all of which can deepen your intimacy and your pleasure.

I am impressed that you and your lover are willing to be experimental. Eight months is not a long time to be lovers and I suspect that over time you will begin to better define your sexual repertoire and fill it up to the brim. Being open-minded, maintaining a playful spirit about sex, and sharing your quest for new experiences will augment your growing relationship.

Over time, differences may emerge -- you may find that one of you likes something the other does not. When that occurs, be sure to work to regain the foundation for your relationship. Recall when you first met and the attributes that drew you two together in the first place. Always be gentle, patient and respectful of your partner. Growth is inevitable in any healthy relationship. Even if you begin to drift apart, know that you can always find common ground, built on common values, interests and shared passion. I know that with your positive attitudes about sexuality and the love you share, you will find happiness as you go.

Find out what other women are talking about on the Ask the Sex Coach message board.

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