Be Incredible in Bed

Step 5: SOS! What to Do When He Can't Perform

Ready for the final step? So far we've covered three important bases when it comes to pleasing your man in bed: getting him aroused, pleasing him with your hands and using surefire tricks for oral sex. This lesson focuses on the main event: sex. Understandably, this is the area where some men have the most trouble, whether it's early ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. These three techniques are your best bet for getting back on track when things go wrong in the bedroom.

Does it happen to every guy?

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association (1999, Vol. 228 No. 6), 3 in 10 men suffer from sexual problems. Some of the most common male sexual complaints (or sexual "breakdowns" as I like to call them) are rapid or early ejaculation, loss of erection or inability to get an erection, and decreased sex drive. If your partner falls into the third category, revisit step 2 for new ideas on boosting his libido. For the rest of you, keep reading.

Change the language

The single most frequent question that I get from men is how to gain control during the sexual act with a partner. The term "premature ejaculation" is now out of vogue, which pleases me greatly. In counseling men with that sexual complaint, I have usually found that if they learn how to speak about their sexual breakdowns as something manageable and temporary, they can learn how to overcome them. For example, when a 40-something male says he has "premature ejaculation" I respond, "Premature for what or whom? Don't you mean you pop too quickly for your wife, or that you wish you could last longer?" Needless to say, in talking about such topics with your partner, it's important for you to use language that empowers him.

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