18 Best Things Ever Said About Chidbirth and Parenting

They said it! The wisest, funniest, truest quotes about being a parent we've ever heard

"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it." -- Marshall McLuhan

"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it." -- Marshall McLuhan

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"All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them." -- Erma Bombeck

"All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them." -- Erma Bombeck

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"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head." -- Carol Burnett

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head." -- Carol Burnett

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"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." -- Ray Romano

"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." -- Ray Romano

Steve Granitz/WireImage/Getty Images

"By far the biggest craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant."-- Phyllis Diller

"By far the biggest craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant."-- Phyllis Diller

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"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them." -- P.J. O'Rourke

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"Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee." -- David Frost

Antony Jones-Julian Parker/UK Press/Getty Images

"I know how to do anything; I'm a mom." -- Roseanne Barr

"I know how to do anything; I'm a mom." -- Roseanne Barr

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"A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it." --Jerry Seinfeld

"A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it." --Jerry Seinfeld

Walter McBride/WireImage/Getty Images

"A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves." -- Banksy

"A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves." -- Banksy

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"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." -- Bette Davis

"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." -- Bette Davis

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"When your kids come home, they don't necessarily want to talk to you. They just want to know you're standing there, ready to talk." -- Meryl Streep

"When your kids come home, they don't necessarily want to talk to you. They just want to know you're standing there, ready to talk." -- Meryl Streep

Jason LaVeris/FIlmmagic

"The one thing you've got to be prepared to do as a parent is not be liked from time to time." -- Emma Thompson

"The one thing you've got to be prepared to do as a parent is not be liked from time to time." -- Emma Thompson

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"Raising a teenager is like nailing JELLO to the wall." -- Bill Cosby

"Raising a teenager is like nailing JELLO to the wall." -- Bill Cosby

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"You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family." -- Sandra Bullock

"You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family." -- Sandra Bullock

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"Amnesia is a condition which enables women who have gone through labor to have sex again." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Amnesia is a condition which enables women who have gone through labor to have sex again." -- Fran Lebowitz

Ron Galella Collection/Getty Images

"Hell hath no fury like a mother who just found out her kid got body art." -- Lenny Kravitz

"Hell hath no fury like a mother who just found out her kid got body art." -- Lenny Kravitz

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