Photo Credit: Courtesy of Ellentv.com
Bethenny Frankel is going through a very public divorce right now which, as she notes, is something that comes with the territory of being a reality TV star. But Frankel is also dealing with an unexpected side effect of dealing with the end of her relationship with husband Jason Hoppy in the public eye: She feels like she let down her fans.
"I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you and I feel like a failure," the 42-year-old admits to Ellen DeGeneres while doing her best to hold back tears. "Yeah, I feel like a failure. I really put it out there. I wanted the fairy tale, I thought I had it. [Two-year-old daughter] Bryn is my fairy tale."
DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi are both friends of Frankel and she has come to them privately to discuss her marriage problems. During their interview, DeGeneres holds up a stack of magazines that have Frankel on the cover and the former Real Housewives of New York City star admits that having all of her public and personal issues be out for the world to see seems a bit surreal right now.
"It's difficult," she says. "Do I want to be doing this exact thing right now? No, but I can't just only be on reality TV and show everything when it's a fairy princess fairy tale and then not take my hits when I have to. I mean, I've had sort of the best worst year ever."
Frankel is looking forward to being able to discuss these issues on her talk show Bethenny, and while she says that some people might take that as a publicity stunt, she's only using that medium to reach out to those who look at her as a role model. Frankel recalls a letter someone sent her where they said her divorce made them not believe in love, and the Bethenny Ever After star says she doesn't want that to be the lesson people take away.
"Love is everywhere," Frankel says, though she adds of her divorce, "This is excruciating, I have to say."
As for the decision to go public with the split from Hoppy, Frankel adds, "I wanted to rip the bandaid off so this could heal. This will obviously be better. I'm scared of the unknown future. ... It's about what I do next, how I handle myself now, with grace, with dignity. This is the time now that matters."