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Thinking about your life, you have dreams, desires and visions. We often talk ourselves out of the exact thing we say we want for ourselves and our lives. It's usually doubt, fear, lack of confidence and lack of support that derail us.
Often times the conversations in our head (which are usually lies) make us focus on negative results. I use to identify myself with my thoughts. I learned I'm not what I think I am. I become what I do. I'd think, "I'm overweight,” but I'd still eat, and eat good, baby! I was hard on myself and I buried my fear, doubt and issues. I'd look in the mirror, and convince myself that what I saw was ok, but I really hated being big. I tried all the up-and-down weight-loss remedies and each failed attempt added a layer of insecurity to my already thick security blanket. You see you have to really want something real bad to get it. I was always told: "You look fine, you don't need to lose weight." So, I didn't think I needed it. That lack of support made me question if people near me really cared about me.
Once picked to participate on the show, I was scared but excited. The chance to have the love and support that the Biggest Loser staff offered outweighed the doubt. I walked away from everything to live on the Biggest Loser Ranch. But my fellow contestants strengthened me through their stories and fight. Each day made me more determined.
My mind battled my body and my deep-seated emotions lifted from the darkness of my thoughts. The Biggest Loser trainers confronted me, loved me, cared about me, and the pain and hurt I felt began to melt away under the hot lights that pressured me to see my reality, my truth, my lies to myself. All of the self talk my mind was doing was defeating me and making me want to stay comfortable in that 262 lbs of hopelessness.
Now I look back, refreshed, blessed and fearless. The me I used to be is gone. I'm now 90 pounds lighter, and even lighter from the emotional baggage I shed. I'm grateful for the amazing opportunity and experience. I have a new family, support from millions and all I can say is that I thank God for the chance. I'm loving life and loving myself unconditionally.
You see, my story can be yours. I changed because my mind changed, then my body changed. I am now the me I really want to be, and striving towards being the best Tanya possible. The rest of my life will be the best of my life! I had to lose to win!
Read Tanya's Scoop on Weeks 1-12
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The Biggest Loser airs Tuesdays at 8 EST/7 central on NBC