The Biggest Parenting Mistakes: #5

Every day this week, I’ll be posting a different big "parenting mistake", so make sure to check back tomorrow!

MISTAKE #5. Not Letting Kids Experience Failure
Correct: Stop rescuing so your child experiences setbacks and learns from mistakes.

Swooping in to fix things robs kids from learning crucial skills needed to handle life-like coping, problem solving, and starting over. After all, mistakes are a big part of learning and set backs are inevitable. If a child isn't allowed to experience a bit of failure or always expects Mom or Dad to pick up the pieces he or she is more likely to thrown when he hits those troubling issues in the real world. Making things easier now just makes it tougher later. Rescuing also undermines a child's sense of competence, the opportunity to practice bouncing back, and sets him or her up for perfectionism. They are also more likely to give up when the going gets tough.

  • Stop rescuing! Vow to let your child learn to handle frustration in gradual doses.
  • Give permission to make mistakes. “Mistakes are how we learn.” “Everyone makes them.”
  • Model mistake making. Share your own mistakes (within reason) and how to handle them.
  • Teach problem solving. “What do you need to do?” “What will you do next time?”

Michele Borba's 5 Biggest Parenting Mistakes:

  1. Failing to Teach “Replacer” Behaviors
  2. Not Using the Right Words the Right Way
  3. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
  4. Not Using the Rule of 21
  5. Not Letting Kids Experience Failure

Come back tomorrow for the next "biggest parenting mistake"!

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