Biological Clock Rushing Us Into Marriage

Dear Sherry:

I'm finally in the relationship that I've dreamed of -- I have been for 1-1/2 years. My dilemma: I'm 34, and he's 29 and in no hurry to get married. How do I get him to understand that medically I shouldn't wait to have a baby? Am I being silly or just paranoid?

Sidler

Question:
ABOUT THE EXPERT

Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Sidler:

Medically? I think the problem is more, um, mental than physical in nature. You've got years (at least a solid decade) before you have to worry about that old biological clock ticking its last.

Slow down. Don't turn this dream relationship into a nightmare by putting unrelenting pressure on your boyfriend to do something he's WAY not ready for. You don't want to hound someone into something so important, do you? That tactic will only backfire and make both of you miserable.

Still feeling kid-deprived? Spend time with child relatives or become a Big Sister. If in, say, six months you still desperately want to marry and have a child and he desperately doesn't, you might want to consider -- difficult though it would be -- ending this relationship and finding someone who's on the same wavelength.

Final thought: Think poop-filled diapers!

Answer:
Need Advice?
Get answers from iVillage experts and other moms just like you!
ASK YOUR QUESTION
Question Details
Subject
  1. Pick a subject:
Connect with 1,039,394 members just like you
Share your knowledge, ask questions.