Birthday Blues: When He Forgets

Dear Sherry:

My boyfriend forgot my birthday. He apologized over and over again but I can't bring myself to forget it. Now he's angry that I'm not accepting his apology. I want to but I'm so hurt! What should I do?



Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Jessica:

While it's certainly a bummer that your guy didn't come through on your big day, I'd say your reaction has ensured that he'd rather be strung up by his fingernails than ever again forget your birthday.

If a lousy memory is his only shortcoming (or at least his main one), let him off the hook before resentments fester and the relationship explodes in both your faces.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't get a birthday celebration out of him, though. Choose an arbitrary day and announce that for this year only, that day is your "birthday." Suggest that if he takes you out dining and dancing and comes through with a smashing gift, you'll give him the gift of shutting up about his lapse.

Still bummed that your "birthday" won't be on the actual anniversary of your entrance into the world? Look at it this way: Isn't it fun to have someone celebrate your birth on a date when you don't actually have to turn a year older?