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After several harrowing days of bogus baby reports, Beyonce and Jay-Z finally have a birth announcement: Beyonce gave birth to a daughter named Blue Ivy Carter Saturday night via scheduled c-section, proving the whole Christian Louboutin pink bootie rumor 100-percent correct.
Now, we all know that Ms. Shawn Corey Carter is going to have an easier time of it than most new moms might (consider: In 2009 Forbes ranked Sasha Fierce and Jay-Z Hollywood's top-earning couple, with a combined take-home of $162 million... so clearly they can afford a night nurse and a stable of nannies). Still, all of the platinum rattles on the planet can’t guarantee a painless transformation to parent. Here are our best tips for the early weeks:
Be prepared for unsolicited advice. (Except ours.) Lots of new moms admit they get overwhelmed by the onslaught of "help" regarding how best to care for their babies. Those meddling loved ones really are well-meaning, even if they’re causing your pretty little head to spin. How to handle: Smile, say thanks, and then ignore them.
Give yourself more than three weeks to lose the baby weight. I know you won't listen to me on this one -- after all, it's your job to be smokin' hot -- but seriously. It took you nine months to grow that glorious bump, so cut yourself some slack. Your baby is only going to be a newborn for about five minutes; don’t spend all of them at the gym.
Throw Jay-Z the occasional bone. When there's a perfect, cooing creature in the room it’s easy for the baby-daddy to get lost in the shuffle. And really, unless you enlist his help with the holding, swaddling, rocking, dressing, changing, bathing parts of parenting, he’s likely to stand back, feeling like an incompetent oaf. If you want to help him become an involved pop, seek his input, cheer him on and tell him he’s the best freaking swaddler this side of Topeka. It'll pay off big time, I promise.
Accept help when it's offered. If you do have a bustling staff of servants it may not get offered a lot, mind you. But if someone does mention they’d be willing to drop off a lasagna or hold the baby for a half hour while you bathe and shave your legs, for the love of Spanx -- take them up on it! Nobody’s giving out gold stars for being the most stressed out, exhausted mom on the block.
Avoid watching or reading the news as long as you can. You're going to be a hormonal wreck, and in case you hadn’t noticed it before, the news is mostly bad. Why fill your head with thoughts of plane crashes and Craigslist killers? The world is no bigger or scarier than it was a year ago -- it just feels that way. Trust me: You'll sleep a lot more soundly if you stick to a steady diet of feel-good TV like Modern Family and Up all Night.
Don’t be a boob. Breastfeeding may be natural, but it's not always easy. There are kindly people in the world known as lactation specialists whose job is to help you nail this tricky skill. Enlist them ASAP if nursing is difficult or painful. In case you were curious, cracked, bleeding nipples rank just below root canals on the fun-scale.
Let go of perfection. That image of the happy housewife bouncing the smiling babe on her hip while she dusts the dust-free house and hums a catchy ditty? That’s a myth. Expect chaos (hell, embrace it!) at least for a while. You have the rest of ever to be "normal" again. Right now it's all about the baby. Need some more advice? Learn 20 things no one tells you about having a newborn here.