Booby Trapped

Anyone who knows me knows I love talking about boobs. To wit:

My chapter on boobs in Locker Room Diaries, creatively entitled “Booby Trapped – Hallelujah, My Nipples Have Seen The Light!”

Watching boobs bounce – for research purposes, of course. 

Show me your moobies!

Now, for some more inspired breast talk, I bring you this gallery of celeb downsizing. Lots of women, famous or not, pay to take their F cups to Ds or their D cups to Bs. Some of them have opted to remove their gigantic breast implants. (Pam Anderson; Victoria Beckham; Kimberly Stewart even signed and framed her extracted implants and gifted them to Ozzy Ozbourne’s son, Jack, which  makes the toaster oven I gave to my sister-in-law for Hanukah seem extremely cheap.) Others, like Queen Latifah and Drew Barrymore, have improved upon Mother Nature’s bounty. I have friends who have undergone the procedure as well and they all were so, so happy with the change. They feel lighter and freer, have less back pain and are subjected to fewer street harassments. Their body image just totally blossomed.

That’s what happened with Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster). By age 15, she wore a 38DD, prompting neighborhood boys to call her Punky Boobster. Just before she turned 16, she went down to a 36C and now says the surgery mad her feel “finally free.”

Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) had a breast reduction after breast-feeding four children. “My nipples were like platters,” she has said. “I wanted to fit into the gowns that I finally got to wear.”

Kelly Osbourne is now speaking out about her craving for smaller breasts, wanting something between a B and C cup — “something you don’t need to wear a bra with… “It’s no secret that I hate my boobs. Perfect boobs is what I want.” 

No one should have to hate their boobs, so I hope she finds something – be in breast reduction, a better wardrobe, a new workout regimen – that helps her find peace.

One celeb who has been very vocal about refusing to get a breast reduction (why she needs to defend herself, I have no idea)? The View’s 40-33-37 cohost Sherri Shepherd. She recently walked on stage in a bathing suit to show off the results of her new workout routine looking fit and strong, albeit with a sizable rack up top. Despite having lost four inches from her chest during her two-month weight loss, Shepherd still wears a DD cup. When asked if she would ever consider a breast reduction, she said, “What?! No! I would never ever, ever, ever."I don't care how old they get and how long they get, I'm going to love my boobs. I'd never get rid of them."

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