Then, read "Miami Bombshell" Tammi Fuller's mandates on why making time for playing with girlfriends is a must!
"Yin and Yang"
by Lydia Sacasa
She's liberal and I'm conservative. She's pro-choice and I'm pro-life. She loves vegetables and I prefer doughnuts. She saves ducks and I eat them. We are very best friends, diametrically opposed in everything we do, but true soul mates to the core. Pat and I have been sharing ups and downs since the seventh grade. Three decades of friendship seem inconceivable to my friend, who still deludes herself into believing she's not a day over thirty.
My, how the tables have turned through the years. I was always the popular one in school; Pat was shy and much more subdued. While I was a cheerleader, she was in the Spanish club. A fabulously slim size 4, I never had to worry about my weight, while Pat always carried a big Cuban "culo" (tush). Now she's the one sporting the trendy size 6 skintight pants (with her flat belly showing) and I just keep buying more stock in Weight Watchers. Life is so unfair.
These days, Pat's idea of fun is a late dinner (maybe three asparagus spears) followed by drinking and dancing the night away. I'd much rather go out to eat at seven, finish it off with a dessert tray sampler, maybe see a good play, and be home by ten, just about the time Pat's getting in the shower, getting ready for her night on the town.
But no matter our differences, Pat and I are bonded for life. Through marriages and pregnancies, divorces, children, dying parents, and all the joys and heartaches of life, our friendship just keeps getting better with time.
It's truly an unusual relationship. While we started out with the same beliefs in Catholic school, but over the years Pat could no longer handle the guilt and completely transformed her ideas. She is now completely convinced she was an American Indian in her previous life and is very much in touch with all the energies known (and unknown) to humankind, while I remain a devout Catholic and practice religiously with only slight modifications.
I love to go to church, and I pray to Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and all the saints who I believe can keep me safe. Pat prefers to go to sweat lodges where she perspires until she almost passes out, and then believes the spirits have blessed her, while she visualizes eagles flying above her head. I too am a very spiritual person; I just don't don feather earrings and obsess about bonding with dead friends while swimming with dolphins.
While I have three children, and now two beautiful granddaughters, Pat has a dog and three cats. It can really get annoying when she doesn't understand my responsibilities and assumes that we all want to live the carefree, responsibility-free life she has made her own for the past thirty years. She travels and makes impulsive decisions while I agonize over every one.
Though our relationship sometimes has its ups and downs, it has lasted longer than any of our marriages, and ultimately, all of our disagreements work themselves out. We share our inner thoughts, dreams, and hopes for ourselves with each other, and we know that our deepest darkest secrets are sacred.
When my father was dying, I spent endless hours in the hospital to be by his side. Pat visited frequently, lifting my spirits in the midst of the sadness. Even my dad, in his final days, joked about Pat's native energy healings, after she performed one in his room, and he questioned if it was Santeria . . . Cuban black magic. Those were the days I truly understood the meaning of friendship, as she brought my Bombshell buddies in, laden with gifts designed to make me laugh.
I didn't have time for new friends when Pat brought these Bombshell women into my life, but on this day, I understood why my friend brought us all together. The compassion and love I devoured from these women that day is a feeling I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Dad died that same night my Bombshell friends came to see me, and Pat stood with my entire family at his bedside as he took his last breath. As my family embraced in an emotional farewell, I was thankful to God for bringing Pat into my life and for keeping her there. And so was my family, who adopted her thirty-five years ago and will never let her go.
She is the yin to my yang, the Oscar to my Felix, the Laverne to my Shirley, and the love of my life. Old friends truly are the best friends.
The "Miami Bombshells" are:
- Patricia San Pedro: The original bombshell, who brought the other five together. She runs a very successful PR firm in Miami.
- Annie San Roman: A school psychologist who works with troubled teens and has turned around many a violent and hopeless kid. Also a devoted wife and mother.
- Tammi Leader Fuller: Is a producer for NBC's The Today Show, Fox TV, Extra, America's Most Wanted and others.
- Lydia Sacasa: A successful banker who works 70-hour weeks and is obsessed with cooking, designer clothes and being a good mother to her three children...even if that means staying up till 6AM to make homemade costumes for the school play!
- Sara Rosenberg: This power player travels the world speaking to publishing groups about innovation and change.
- Mercedes Soler: One of the most influential Latina newscasters, more recognizable among Hispanics in the U.S. than Oprah. She's a five time Emmy award winning newscaster for Univision.
Excerpted from Dish and Tell: Six Real Women Discuss How They Put Themselves at the Top of Their To-Do Lists by the Miami Bombshells, reprinted with permission from Harper Collins Publishers.