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Recently I signed my two daughters up for an after-school "kitchen chemistry" class. As the parent-volunteer on day one, I have to admit I was a little surprised when the scientist-chef instructor announced that for their very first experiment, the kids would each make their very own glass of Coke.
Equally astonished, my girls turned to stare at me with googly-eyes. See, my daughters -- age 6 and 8 -- had never actually had Coke before. Yes, I drink the stuff, but I’m trying to teach them good eating habits and help them develop a taste for healthy fare over processed crap (something I wish someone had thought to do with me). I realized they'd partake of the forbidden fizz eventually, but I didn't see any harm in prolonging that day as long as possible.
Apparently, the Jolie-Pitts take a slightly different approach to soda. Brad Pitt recently told CBS' Sunday Morning that he's not above practically force-feeding his kids the stuff to get them moving in the morning, according to US Weekly. Said Brad, "I admit there's times like, 'We gotta get up. Get up! Here's your shoes. Here's your shoes. Drink this Coke. Drink this Coca-Cola. Drink it all. Right now! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!' Just so we could get 'em up and going." (I guess making eight lattes every morning would get tiresome.)
There are a few things worth noting about the Coke-confession-gone-viral: First, Pitt’s casual use of the marital "we" -- when we all know soda-for-breakfast is almost always a dad-move. Second, the man shows absolutely not an ounce of shame about breaking-the-fast with a chemical cocktail. If a mom did this -- which she probably wouldn't -- she’d either lie about it, downplay it ("It was just the one time!") or at the very least let the world know how incredibly guilty she felt about the whole situation ("I know it's wrong, and I pray that I'm not harming my babies...").
Even though Snopes says all those "Coke will dissolve a nail overnight!" rumors are false, surely the Jolie-Pitts realize this isn't the most wholesome way to start your kids' day. My guess is that Brad is sleeping in the dog house for spilling the soda -- err -- beans.