Breakup Ground Rules

  • I will not take his phone calls. I repeat, I will not take his calls.
  • I will not return his phone calls or emails. If he is "just checking" to see how I am, I know he is really just checking to see if I think he's a jackass. He is looking for an ego stroke, not to get back together, and I know this because he did not start out the communication with, "I am sorry. I made a mistake. I want us to get back together."
  • I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers and the like. The only professional guidance I will seek will be that of a licensed therapist or member of the clergy.
  • I will not believe this is temporary. I will see this as permanent until proven otherwise by concrete actions, immense apologies and couple's therapy.
  • I will not hide under a rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.
  • I promise to abide by these vows for at least thirty (30) days, or until I have gotten over him, whichever is longer. This is about me feeling better and that has nothing to do with him.

    This I do affirm. So help me.

    Signed:
    Date:



    Cover illustration and design by Michiko Stehrenberger
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