Breakup Survival

Step 2: What to expect

Even if you saw it coming or made it happen yourself, you may find yourself unprepared for the initial impact of your breakup. Suddenly, you're no longer half of a couple. You may not know who to turn to. Everything around you -- your home, your favorite music, your loved ones -- may seem connected to your ex. That's exactly why the focus of this lesson is working through the initial stage of the breakup: ground zero.

Ground Zero
Breaking up can feel a lot like having a giant wrecking ball slammed into your life. Things that you took for granted yesterday may no longer apply to your life today -- everything is changing at a rapid pace. Although you are still intact, many of your dreams and plans for the future, as well as your day-to-day existence, may suddenly be unrecognizable bits and pieces.

Ground zero is also a place for beginnings -- even if you don't want to hear it right now. While your relationship has ended, you are embarking on a new journey. This can be terrifying at first. Maybe you liked the way your life was before, and you feel resistant to all the changes that a breakup can bring. Even if you were unsatisfied with your relationship, at least it wasn't the ''unknown''. No matter how you felt before, this is your chance to start again. And believe it or not, you will.

Sorting through the Rubble
The first question to sort out is, ''Am I the only one who feels like this?'' Absolutely not. The whys and what-ifs of a breakup can still be overwhelming, though. It may seem as if you're the only one who has experienced something so painful and no one could possibly understand your devastation. You may feel pressure -- from yourself or others -- to move on and get over it.

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