Breakup Survival

Step 2: What to expect

But before you can begin to move on, you must sort through the rubble left from your breakup, choosing what to salvage and what to leave behind. By identifying what went wrong, what your part in it was and how you'd like things to be different in the future, you can better ensure that you won't find yourself in the same situation in future relationships. You might be tempted to try to rebuild right over the debris, because assessing your past and reconciling it with your present and future isn't easy. But skipping over this process will leave you nothing but a shaky foundation

The truth is, there is no set way to get through a breakup. In fact that's one of the most difficult aspects of the process. There are no ground rules (and certainly no etiquette rules) to follow. Because of this, it's important not to be too hard on yourself right now. Contrary to the early teachings of psychology, grief is not necessarily a linear process. Realize that it's normal to feel nonchalant one day and seething in anger or trapped in a fit of depression on the next. Does this mean that you are weak? Not a chance; As long as you are processing your thoughts and feelings -- by thinking, reading, writing and talking them out -- there is no ''right'' way to feel. Your feelings, as unwelcome as they sometimes are, are part of yourself. They are something to accept and deal with. Talking to those you trust about your feelings all through your post-breakup experience can help you get some perspective on this rapidly changing and confusing time.

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