A Bridesmaid's Duties
My best friend is getting married next January. She has asked me to be a bridesmaid. What am I supposed to do as one? -- Anna
Question:Dear Anna:
Before we get into what you have to do for your friend's wedding, take a minute to pat yourself on the back and feel good about this friendship. She chose you to play an extra-special role in her big day! That's a nice honor.
As for your responsibilities, are you the maid of honor or one of several bridesmaids? If you're the maid of honor, you'll be expected to pitch in more than the other bridesmaids do. In fact, you'll pretty much be in charge of deciding when and how to enlist the others (planning the shower, addressing invitations, etc.). Otherwise, you can wait for the bride or, more likely, the maid of honor, to delegate duties to you.
Hopefully, you and your friend will have an opportunity to sit down -- and soon -- so you can ask her what her expectations are. It's different for every bride. Some expect their bridesmaids to be ultra-involved, others just want them to wear (and pay for) that fuscia dress and show up. The number one thing a bridesmaid can do is call and check in with a bride … often. Ask her how the planning is going and really listen to what she says. Let her talk about herself and unload her frazzled nerves. You might send her funny cards or take her out for a girls' night once in a while. Basically, be a friend.
Of course, your biggest responsibilities will come on the big day. The bride may want one of her bridesmaids to help her get ready in the morning. During the ceremony, the maid of honor holds the bride's flowers, straightens her veil and keeps her looking picture-perfect. Afterward, you may need to bustle her dress (some bridal salons insist on giving you a how-to lesson in advance). And there will be plenty of pictures you'll need to pose for before you can join the party.
Keep an eye on the bride during the reception: Ask if you can get her a drink or some food. Think of extra touches: Decorate the wedding-night suite; call the honeymoon resort and have poolside drinks sent to the newlyweds from you and the girls. Above all, remember the details of the big day, the things the bride will have been to busy to see. She'll want to talk about it all later, when she returns from paradise.
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