Buy Vincent Gallo's Sperm
Got a thing for wacky director Vincent Gallo? You know, the one who made that porn flick with ex-girlfriend Chloe Sevigny and called it a movie? Well, now you can have his creepy little spawn if you so desire. Vincent's sperm is for sale on eBay at a starting bid of $1 million. The seller, who claims to speak for Vincent, is looking for a blonde, Jewish woman to have his kid, because "this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar." It also promises that Vincent is "drug, alcohol and disease free."
If you're interested in the sperm, I'd suggest that you get proof of the whole "disease free" thing. (Have you seen the guy?) And while you're visiting the doctor, you should probably get your own head examined as well.
