Celebs in Bad Slasher Movies

They're A-list actors now, but gigs in sleazy slasher flicks lurk in their past. Check out the career skeletons in these six superstars' closets!

The star: Jennifer Aniston
The flick: Leprechaun (1993)
The plot: A wicked little Leprechaun is on the hunt for his stolen gold. Despite a short stature -- and heinously horrid makeup -- he proves a deadly enemy to a pack of friends in North Dakota.
The role: Jennifer is Tori, a sassy, spoiled L.A. teen stuck on a rustic retreat with her dad. Turns out their shoddy vacation spot is also home to the vengeful wee Irishman.
Best line: "We're, like, really scared."
Not to ruin the ending or anything, but: Tori and a ragtag team of friends take down the Leprechaun after -- and, we kid you not -- shooting a four-leaf clover into his mouth with a slingshot and a wad of gum.
If looks could kill: Besides being a brunette, Jen looks pretty much as we know and love her today. But wait -- are those pink and white L.A. Gear high tops she's wearing? What would Rachel Green say to that, we wonder.
The others: None of Leprechaun's other lads and lasses have come close to Jen's height of fame. But Warwick Davis, the little lead, now stars as Professor Filius Flitwick in the Harry Potter movies.
What lay ahead: But a mere year later, Jennifer landed her star-making role on Friends and began a fairytale life in which she marries Brad Pitt, dictates current fashion and graces multiple magazine covers each month. Needless to say, she didn't return for Leprechauns 2 and 3, or Leprechaun 4: In Space.

 

The star: Kevin Bacon
The flick: Friday the 13th (1980)
The plot: Foolish, horny teenagers! Why reopen a camp with a "death curse" despite local folks' warnings? On Friday the 13th of all days! And, for heaven's sake, stop making out with each other! Thus, a horror flick is born.
The role: Kevin plays Jack, a cocky teenage counselor in the doomed Camp Crystal Lake roll call.
His fate: Now if we've learned anything from the Scream series, it's that sex and drugs spell murder in the horror genre. Jack commits both of these deadly sins and gets a knife through the throat as he's lounging alone, post-coital, on a bunk bed with a joint at his bedside. He's the third to go.
Best line: "But I don't love Ned!" brushing off his girlfriend's concern over a lonely buddy, as they heavy pet by their dark cabin of doom.
Not to ruin the ending or anything, but: We're led to suspect almost everyone, but the killer is Pamela Voorhees, a deceptively matronly ex-staffer. Her son Jason drowned at the camp when counselors were canoodling so now she's out for blood. Ultimately, she's decapitated by the angelic lead counselor (and sole survivor), but as we all know, this was but the beginning for the Friday the 13th enterprise.
If looks could kill: Since '80s dos are back in style, we'll keep quiet about Kevin's shag haircut. But that gold and blue Speedo? Now, that's just a crime.
The others: Bacon surely fared the best after this flick. Most of his costars' careers petered out shortly after.
What lay ahead: This was Kevin's sixth gig, after Animal House and a stint in soaps. Soon after, he landed the more respectable Diner (1982) and Footloose (1984) and never had to die so dismally onscreen again.

 

The star: Brad Pitt
The flick: Cutting Class (1989)
The plot: Creepy boy Brian gets released from a mental institution and heads right back to high school. Soon after, folks start to die and the low-budget special effects begin. But Brian's not the only menacing man about ...
The role: Brad plays cocky jock Dwight, chock full of ego, sex drive and a scary bad temper. If he's not throwing a tantrum on the basketball court, he's pawing brainy girlfriend Paula. Or, slamming "ex-friend" Brian against lockers. Or drinking. Or speeding through the streets in his cheesy convertible.
Best line: "Well, then, we'll never do it!" in response to Paula's rule that they stay celibate "until your grades improve."
Not to ruin the ending or anything, but: Just when we're about to believe Brian's yet another misunderstood electroshock therapy patient with a penetrating glare and a heart of gold, he axes the math teacher and reveals his bad intentions. Dwight then duels him to the death with some unrealistically hi-tech shop class tools.
If looks could kill: Thanks to an endless supply of tank tops, we can see that at age 26 Brad was buff, if far from Fight Club stature.
The others: Brian was played by Donovan Leitch, now a hipster actor/musician/model married to runway star Kirsty Hume. Romance bloomed on the Cutting set and Brad and Jill Schoelen, a.k.a. Paula, were briefly engaged, but they called it off soon after. She now lives with her husband and two children in Encino, California.
What Lay Ahead: It was just two years later that Brad landed his heartthrob status with the bit part in Thelma & Louise.

 

The star: Tom Hanks
The flick: He Knows You're Alone(1980)
The plot: After getting spurned by his fiancée for another man, a villain hunts brides-to-be. He's set his deadly sights on comely college girl Amy and her unlucky circle of friends.
The role: Tom is Elliot, the chatty psych student wooing Amy's pal Nancy. While it's not a "blink and you'll miss it" role, Tom's still a far cry (and 20 years) from Cast Away. We clocked his onscreen time at about 15 minutes.
His best line: "Want a Goober?" as he attempts to play Casanova at a carnival.
Not to ruin the ending or anything, but: After she finds Nancy's head in the fish bowl, Amy gives the killer chase and seeks shelter in an old flame's arms. They do the bad guy in and, in the process, rediscover their love. The movie ends with the wedding day -- but Amy, don't turn around! Her bitter ex-boyfriend's out for blood. We're to assume, the saga continues. Yet there was no sequel.
If looks could killl: Tom, at 24, has a sweet little baby face and a very, very full head of black hair.
The others: This flick's full of familiar faces. Patsy Pease, who plays Amy's buddy Joyce, is Kimberley on the soap Days of Our Lives. Paul Gleason, a cop on the case, is best known as Principal Vernon in The Breakfast Club.
What lay ahead: This was Tom's first movie role. Later that year, he scored the TV series Bosom Buddies and, soon after, Splash.

 

The star: Patricia Arquette
The flick: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
The plot: Unsightly Freddy Krueger, complete with his striped sweater and sharp fingers, returns to torment another set of teens in their dreams. A traumatized team of victims bands together at their mental institution to battle the boogeyman while they sleep.
The role: Patricia plays Kristen, a girl with special powers who's determined to face Freddy and take him down. In case you're doubting her willpower, she eats raw coffee beans with Coke to stay awake.
Her best line: "AAHH! AAHH!" Who knew she could scream like that?
Not to ruin the ending or anything, but: After losing some of their own, the group defeats Freddy with some holy water and Patricia's kung-fu style fighting techniques.
If looks could kill: Insomnia can be hell on a girl's skin, but Patricia holds up well. The pastel paisley print oxford shirts have really got to go, though.
The others: Max, the friendly hospital orderly, is played by Laurence Fishburne, still a few years away from his breakthrough role in Boyz in the Hood.
What lay ahead: Patricia went on to a few bit movie parts and TV movies and then made the hits True Romance and Ed Wood in the mid 1990s.

 

The stars: Renée Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey
The flick: Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994)
The plot: Four teen prom goers take a wrong turn down a dusty road and find themselves shacked up with a cult of chainsaw-wielding psychos.
The roles: Renée is Jenny, a nice nerdy girl who really needs to learn to say no to rides from strangers. Her naiveté gets her trapped in a big rig with villainous Vilmer, a.k.a Matthew McConaughey. Yes, he's good looking. But very, very bad. We find that out soon enough, as he knocks off Jenny's pals with brute force and some gasoline -- ouch! He's helped out by a psycho girlfriend and our old buddy Leatherface.
Her best line: "Stop doing that!" when an enraged Vilmer's torturing her friend. Sadly, the small plea didn't accomplish much.
His best line: "Well, he's dead now." After he breaks the neck of an unconscious chum.
Not to ruin the ending or anything, but: When the freaks turn on themselves, Jenny breaks out, but Leatherface and his power tool are perilously close behind. She finally finds herself in a limo with a freaky official who nonetheless escorts her to safety.
If looks could kill: It's a little hard to be hot for Matthew, since he's killing everything in sight. Renée, however -- even in her dorky black glasses and dowdy prom dress -- holds up well despite the stress.
The others: Renée and Matthew surely fared the best after Massacre; most of the rest went on to TV movies.
What lay ahead: That plum part in Jerry Maguire was just two years away when Renée screamed herself silly on the RTCM set. Matthew did his small role in Boys on the Side the next year and wowed us all as attorney Jake Brigance in the hit A Time to Kill with Sandra Bullock in 1996.

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