The model and actress chronicled her struggle in her 2005 memoir Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression. Her battle received international attention when Scientology follower Tom Cruise publicly criticized her use of Paxil to treat her disorder. A famous feud ensued and Shields took the Hollywood megastar to task in an eloquent New York Times op-ed in which she felt "compelled to speak not just for myself but also for the hundreds of thousands of women who have suffered from postpartum depression." Her description of her experience was harrowing: "I couldn't bear the sound of Rowan crying, and I dreaded the moments my husband would bring her to me. I wanted her to disappear. I wanted to disappear. At my lowest points, I thought of swallowing a bottle of pills or jumping out the window of my apartment… The drugs, along with weekly therapy sessions, are what saved me -- and my family."