Change demons are disempowering emotions that arise during any change. They can wreak havoc on your self-esteem, destroy hope, keep you stuck in the past and block your view of future opportunities.
But there's good news! These emotions also exist to guide you through change, to show you if you are heading in the right direction. The six change demons—fear, doubt, impatience, shame, blame and guilt—help you figure out how you want or don't want to feel during change. Instead of ignoring or hiding from these emotions, welcome—and thank—them for showing you the way through change.
When change demons arise, take a moment to remember that they:
Every change demon can be replaced with a corresponding emotion that will empower you again.
The next time you experience any of the change demons, remember that each one can be replaced with a better, brighter emotion that will help you move through change with ease and grace.
Replace fear with faith. It's natural to be fearful of change. Whenever change happens, you are being asked to accept the uncertainty of a new future. The next time fear shows up, find your faith—faith in yourself, in spirituality, or in the certainty that this situation will change.
Replace doubt with surrender. During change it's natural to doubt. You may doubt that you will pull through and if you've initiated a change, you may doubt that you will succeed. The next time you feel doubtful, let go a little and trust that things will work out—surrender to the change.
Replace impatience with endurance. Change can leave us disoriented, unsure and stressed, so it's natural to want to move from these uncomfortable feelings as quickly as possible. But the next time you feel impatient, remember that every change depends on your endurance ability to wait for the next phase of your life to progress at its own pace.
Replace blame with honesty. In the first 30 days of any change, we all look for someone to blame for the pain or stress that we're experiencing. I've met people who have blamed their dog for not being able to change careers or their parents, who died years ago, for their failed relationships. When you find yourself blaming someone, be responsible and get radically honest by asking yourself: "What's the truth?" and "What's really happening?"
Replace guilt with forgiveness. Feeling guilty is a natural part of growing, and growing is a natural part of change. People can feel guilty about anything—their parenting skills, their weight, their eating habits, what they said to someone, the money they spent or a decision they made. The list is endless. The next time you feel guilty, make an effort to forgive yourself and guilt will be a thing of the past.
Replace shame with honor. The changes that you experience affect those around you, which can cause you to feel ashamed of what's happening in your life. When shame comes up use it as an opportunity to move forward with your actions and choices despite what is commonly perceived as acceptable. Honor your choices, decisions and mistakes.
Learn more about change expert Ariane de Bonvoisin »
Sign up for the Kick-Start Change Community Challenge! »
How good are you at change? Take Ariane's quiz! »
But there's good news! These emotions also exist to guide you through change, to show you if you are heading in the right direction. The six change demons—fear, doubt, impatience, shame, blame and guilt—help you figure out how you want or don't want to feel during change. Instead of ignoring or hiding from these emotions, welcome—and thank—them for showing you the way through change.
When change demons arise, take a moment to remember that they:
- Are temporary
- Help to get you back in alignment with your higher self—the calmer and wiser version of yourself, the part that is connected and clear
- Encourage you to make a choice: you can choose to feel better or worse than the emotion you are currently experiencing
- Come with a twin emotion that will help you feel better
Every change demon can be replaced with a corresponding emotion that will empower you again.
The next time you experience any of the change demons, remember that each one can be replaced with a better, brighter emotion that will help you move through change with ease and grace.
Replace fear with faith. It's natural to be fearful of change. Whenever change happens, you are being asked to accept the uncertainty of a new future. The next time fear shows up, find your faith—faith in yourself, in spirituality, or in the certainty that this situation will change.
Replace doubt with surrender. During change it's natural to doubt. You may doubt that you will pull through and if you've initiated a change, you may doubt that you will succeed. The next time you feel doubtful, let go a little and trust that things will work out—surrender to the change.
Replace impatience with endurance. Change can leave us disoriented, unsure and stressed, so it's natural to want to move from these uncomfortable feelings as quickly as possible. But the next time you feel impatient, remember that every change depends on your endurance ability to wait for the next phase of your life to progress at its own pace.
Replace blame with honesty. In the first 30 days of any change, we all look for someone to blame for the pain or stress that we're experiencing. I've met people who have blamed their dog for not being able to change careers or their parents, who died years ago, for their failed relationships. When you find yourself blaming someone, be responsible and get radically honest by asking yourself: "What's the truth?" and "What's really happening?"
Replace guilt with forgiveness. Feeling guilty is a natural part of growing, and growing is a natural part of change. People can feel guilty about anything—their parenting skills, their weight, their eating habits, what they said to someone, the money they spent or a decision they made. The list is endless. The next time you feel guilty, make an effort to forgive yourself and guilt will be a thing of the past.
Replace shame with honor. The changes that you experience affect those around you, which can cause you to feel ashamed of what's happening in your life. When shame comes up use it as an opportunity to move forward with your actions and choices despite what is commonly perceived as acceptable. Honor your choices, decisions and mistakes.
Learn more about change expert Ariane de Bonvoisin »
Sign up for the Kick-Start Change Community Challenge! »
How good are you at change? Take Ariane's quiz! »
