Dear Channing:
Belated congratulations on the news that you and Jenna are expecting a baby! I've got two daughters -- ages 3 and 1 -- and let me tell you, man, fatherhood rules.
I just read that you're worried about your diaper-changing skills in People Moms & Babies. "I hope I don't have any problems where the diaper falls off and the baby poops on the ground," you said, and, "If it means touching the poop and getting peed on…I'm up for the challenge."
Dude, let me tell it to you straight: For starters, even if you train with the Harley Pasternak of diaper-changing, your kid's diaper will fall off at some point and the baby most likely will poop on the ground, the changing table, his/her pants and probably the seats of your car.
Second, because the baby will be a poop machine for the first year of his/her life, there's no question that you'll have to touch it. I'd bet serious money that at one time or another you get some lodged under your fingernails. You'll probably also have to use those hands to scoop turds out of the tub.
Finally, you will be peed on. This is a certainty if Jenna has a boy (tiny penises seem to have minds of their own), but also is likely if she has a girl (despite gravity). My older daughter is almost four and just this past weekend, I had to clean up an accident she had on a commercial airplane flight.
Chan, you may have been People's Sexiest Man Alive, but when it comes to diapers, you're just like the rest of us guys. But trust me, you're gonna love it.
