Charlie Sheen: 'Two and a Half Men' Will Beg Me to Come Back

In his Today interview, the troubled actor says he'll return to his show for $3 million an episode: "Take it or leave it!"

In a new interview with Today's Jeff Rossen, Charlie Sheen reacts to CBS' decision to shut down production on Two and a Half Men -- and attempts to explain his public rant against the show's creator Chuck Lorre.

Insisting he's "passionate" and "not angry," the actor says the network was out of line for bringing the show to a halt. In fact, he's convinced they'll be chasing him down to come back.

"It's like everybody thinks I should be begging for my job back, and I'm just gonna forewarn them that it's everybody else that's going to be begging me for their job back," the troubled star says. 

Swearing that he's never once shown up to the set drunk or on drugs, Sheen says the network's actions was not justified.

"Didn't CBS have a right to shut your show down?" Ross asked. "They're reading about you partying at all hours of the night, taking drugs, abusing alcohol. It's their show."

"Epic. Epic behavior," Sheen mocked. "No, because after reading about that, then they observe a guy hitting every mark, nailing every line, every joke, with a full house screaming."

In addition to an apology from CBS ("A big one. While licking my feet."), Sheen, who already makes nearly $2 million an episode, says he deserves a raise! 

"I am a man of my word, so I will finish the TV show," says Sheen, reportedly the highest-paid actor on television. "I'll even do season 10, but at this point, (because of) psychological distress, oh my God, it's $3 mil an episode, take it or leave it."

"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special," he continued. "I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching -- a total fricking rock star from Mars. And people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain." 


Sheen also sat down with ABC's Good Morning America (in a segment that aired today) and discussed his destructive, drug-filled past.

"The last time I took drugs, I probably took more than anybody could survive," he says, while chain-smoking on camera. "The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards... all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children." When asked whether he was scared of dying, the actor replies simply, "Dying's for fools!"

Sheen claims he's now completely clean, and he finds his new, drug-free existence to be "perfect." But he did admit that there's one substance he's still using. "I am on a drug... it's called 'Charlie Sheen!'" he says. "It's not available because if you try it once your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."


Still not tired of talking, Sheen went on TMZ Live on Monday morning to once again share his thoughts on life, addiction and, of course, winning. In the live 45-minute-long Q&A, filmed in his backyard, Sheen dismisses reports that he checked himself into rehab this morning (offering the interview as proof) and once again rips on Men creator Lorre, saying that CBS honcho Les Moonves should have fired him. Charlie also says that he hopes his five kids ask him about his drug use someday so that he can regale them with some "epic" tales. And, last but not least, Sheen has a message for his dad, Martin Sheen: Stop passing judgment and giving me advice, because I'm a grown man!

In a not-so-shocking turn of events, Charlie's longtime publicist Stan Rosenfield resigned just minutes after the TMZ interview concluded. In a statement to TMZ, the publicist said: "I worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much. However, at this time, I'm unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned." Sheen shot back: "P***y. He's not allowed to quit, so you're fired."

You can hear more gems from Sheen on tomorrow morning's Today on NBC and when the 20/20 special, "Charlie Sheen: In His Own Words," airs on Tuesday night at 10 p.m. on ABC.

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