Charlie Sheen: 'Two and a Half Men' Is Dead Without Me

In an open letter, the troubled actor rails against "silly fool" Chuck Lorre, saying: "NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW"

If Charlie Sheen was hoping to regain his place on the sitcom Two and a Half Men, it looks like his bargaining tactics leave a little bit to be desired.

With the news that CBS may be planning to move forward with a Charlie Sheen-free Two and a Half Men, the vitriolic actor has lashed out yet again, firing off an open letter to series creator Chuck Lorre via his favorite messenger: TMZ, which has posted the insult-laden epistle in full.

In the letter, Sheen refers to Lorre as a "sad silly fool," "a narcissist, a coward, a loser, a spineless rat" and a "low rent, nut-less sociopath" -- among others. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. He rails against Two and a Half Men, writing: "No one cares about your feeble show without me... I'm out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear. NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW. And that's exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show."

Sheen goes even further into personal territory in the letter, sneering at Lorre's for being a part of a "pathetic AA loser lounge" and even stating that "they are planning on voting you off the AA island. Even those clowns have no room for you anymore." Alcoholics Anonymous works, in part, because AA members trust that their anonymity will be protected, so this is a very dirty tactic from Sheen -- though not a surprising one. Sheen closes his loving missive with, "You've been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it."

Sheen's fight with Lorre has been brutal and public -- he even wants the $100 million lawsuit he has brought against the producers at CBS to skip arbitration and be tried in public. (On this subject, Sheen's letter states: "I'll beat your chicken s*** soul in a court room into a state of gratitude.") And, although Sheen insists in his letter that the show will be a failure without him, a lawyer for Warner Bros. has already unequivocally shot down rumors that Charlie is in talks to rejoin Men.

Even if Sheen did somehow worm his way back onto the show, wouldn't it be a little tense having to work for a man you referred to as a "low rent nut-less sociopath"? How will that play out, Charlie? The "whirlwind" here is Sheen's and Sheen's alone to reap.

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