Cmtdarden: Up next is evcruz.
Evcruz: My son and his wife have been married for some years. He is only staying for 2 reasons: (1) daughter and (2) he does love his wife. However he is FED UP with his wife's EX interfering with his stepchildren, whom my son supports and the EX does not. His wife, for the children's sake, does not want to make any waves.
BrendaShoshanna: It is best not to interfere with the marriages of our children. Even though it can be painful to see them in situations that you do not feel are right. If they ask you, let them know what you think, otherwise, stay out of it. He'll have to find his own way.
Evcruz: Brenda, is your answer to me to "not interfere"? I do not 100% interfere. In fact, I am a best friend to both of them. What I am looking for is guidance and maybe what I can expect - and how to cope with it.
BrendaShoshanna: It is wonderful that you are his best friend, but he is the one who has to cope with it. You can be there for him to listen to him, encourage him, and support his choices. But he is the one who must make his decisions, work on his issues and do what's right for him.
Cmtdarden: Up next is perceyangel.
percyangel: When we fight he throws past problems in my face and then grows silent and shuts me out. Then at bedtime, he makes me unwelcome by making it impossible to get in it or kicking me out of bed. The next morning, he's all loving. I get confused. He says it doesn't mean anything.
BrendaShoshanna: Many men give mixed messages, they want you, and they do not. They themselves are confused and ambivalent. It sounds as if he is doing his best to make you crazy and mad.
percyangel: We've been together for 15 years. The good times are very good, but the bad times are killing me.
BrendaShoshanna: I would let him know how his behavior makes you feel, and if he can't be more stable and consistent, find yourself a healthier situation.