Chat with Dr. Brenda Shoshanna

Cherokeeonly: What should I do about allowing him to visit?
BrendaShoshanna: I would like to let everyone know that there is more follow-up information about all this, and articles posted on my Web page www.Brendashoshanna.com. I think you deserve a full time father, Cherokeeonly. His coming and going could be more hurtful.
Liztier: Why do men say one day they love you and the next they say goodbye?
BrendaShoshanna: For some men, love means they feel good at the moment, or they're turned on, or you fit their fantasy. It's important to know who the man is and what he means by love. In my book Why Men Leave this is gone into in great detail. There is a chapter in there called "Turnaround Procedure" that describes in detail how not to get caught in this kind of trap. It can be so painful. You must know who he really is before you become emotionally involved.
jazz1964: What's the best way to deal with a possessive guy?
BrendaShoshanna: Possessive men are usually insecure. Still, they can make your life miserable, especially if you fall into their demands. You have to be strong about your own boundaries, which demands of his feel suitable to you, and which you can't take. Let him know it from the start. The two of you should spend time together developing trust. Many possessive men are overly jealous and fearful of losing their women. Find out what he needs (that you can give comfortably) to help him feel more secure. There are articles about this on my Website www.Brendashoshanna.com. It can be a difficult problem. Good luck.

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