Chat with Dr. Joan Irvine, author of Recipes for Hot Sex

I am in a 16-year marriage and my partner and I have three boys that are into every sport imaginable. We seem to have the same problem as the others: When do we find the time and energy for sex? Also, I am beyond just the bedroom.
Dr Joan: Abob, you are under stress and as I discuss on, women can have a low libido. But being beyond the bedroom in my practice means having a problem in the relationship. When couples come to me when there is no sex, there is something missing from one side and it's just been put aside and it creates problems down the road. Two years or 16 or 25 years, I hear the same concern, a lack of some type of intimacy creates a problem. Abob, what do you and your husband do for intimacy?
Abob: Besides sex in the bedroom ... nothing ... that is what I am talking about ... that is what is missing.
lanan99: Yes -- I have been married for 13 years. I have two kids, my husband has a successful business, but I am just not happy. I have no sexual desire for my husband at all. But I frequently fantasize about other men I know. What could be wrong with me? I know I love my husband.
Dr Joan: First of all, how old are you?
lanan99: 33.
Dr Joan: Low libido can be a problem with women. There are books I can recommend by Christine Ferrere and Judith Riechman.
lanan99: If it's that -- why would I think about the other men all of the time?
Dr Joan: Fantasizing about other men is normal. There is nothing wrong with that. Read about these books on and take time for yourself and your husband, plan time for sex and tell your husband what you want. Forget dinner, have sex with your husband and order take-out Does this help?

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