Chat with John Gottman

Kherrity: Join John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to find out how you can help your marriage or long term relationship withstand the trials of time.

John_Gottman: Hello everyone! What's different about my approach to relationships is that it's based upon research with both the masters and disasters of marriage. So instead of the advice coming from my experience, it comes from hundreds of couples of all ages. Does anyone have any questions?

zena_19_98: How can you rebuild trust that has been slightly broken?

John_Gottman: Can you be more specific, Zena?

zena_19_98: Okay -- my husband has lied about small things, which makes me not trust him on the bigger ones.

John_Gottman: I think the way to rebuild trust is to confront him and tell him directly that it makes you not trust him. Unless you have a total-honesty policy, it will undermine your ability to trust him on bigger things.

John_Gottman: Next question?

chelseahas2cuties: I have been married seven years and have two small kids under age three. My husband and I have grown apart … well, I grew up and he didn't after the girls were born. I love him, but I am no longer in love. I don't want the marriage to end but it doesn't feel much like a partnership right now. Any suggestions?

John_Gottman: Chelsea, this is a very common pattern with first time parents. In 70 percent of all marriages, there is a drop in marital satisfaction by the wife.

chelseahas2cuties: How do I make it better for us?

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