Chat with John Gottman

Jenhs: Thanks, John, that is good advice.

Jenallie: I am recently married ... husband is having severe insecurities. If for some reason I buy new clothes or do something new to my hair, he immediately starts accusing me of looking for someone new. I am at my wits' end. I have tried to talk to him about it. I am taking it as a direct hit to my character. Ideas?

John_Gottman: Jenallie, this is a very difficult problem. You need to find some way to reassure him but not allow his jealousy to control you. Try to explore what it is that pushes his insecurity buttons. Maybe he can tell you.

Jenallie: I am a very loyal friend and wife. I love him more than anything and wouldn't compromise our life for anything.

John_Gottman: If he can't tell you and it's hard to find out, then he'll just have to adjust to it. One of the characteristics of abuse is an attempt to control. Don't allow this to happen to you -- be gentle but firm. Thanks to all for being here and for your kind attention!

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