Cheating Myths--Relationship Advice from Tracey Cox

Myth #2: Men cheat much more than women do.

This used to be the case, but now the infidelity scales are balancing out. Why? Women cheat for the same reasons as men: It's someone new. It's naughty (and therefore nice). But there are other reasons women cite: The affair was a "reward" for being an unappreciated wife and mother or for putting up with a partner who wasn't affectionate, didn't listen or ignored them. It was an "ego boost." (Gone are the days when we'd treat ourselves to a new lipstick or haircut to cheer ourselves up.) We're still not as blase about affairs as men—women are more likely to feel guilty—but given that studies show we're much better at lying, we're also more likely to get away with it.

It's also a myth that it's men who try to turn friendships into affairs. Most unfaithful men see affairs as high opportunity and low involvement. On the contrary, it tends to be women who push platonic relationships from friendship to love and fantasy to reality, according to psychologists. Women get more emotionally involved and are keen to test out friendships to determine if they'd make for better relationships than their current situations. So she's often seeking a potential soul mate; he's just having fun.

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