Cheating Myths--Relationship Advice from Tracey Cox

Myth #3: Affairs are mostly about sex.

 Some affairs are about sex and most certainly include sex because sex with someone else is forbidden, making it very appealing. But sex is not always the reason people cheat. Affairs are a way for people to get something they're not getting from the relationship they're in. It's that simple. What's not so simple is defining what it is that's missing. In fact, oftentimes the cheating partner isn't aware of it. Some people are searching for something they lost as a child, others for lost youth. Some people cheat on "perfect" partners because they're sick of perfection. It's not always about sex.

Myth #4: If he cheats on you, he doesn't love you.

It may feel that way, but it's not necessarily the case. It does, however, mean he doesn't respect you enough to honor the commitment you've made to one another and that he has a different value system than yours. Some people are more than capable of separating sex from love and physically sleeping with someone else doesn't affect their love for you. Generally, men tend to have sex-based affairs, not emotional or "love-based" affairs. But, the decision you need to make is whether his definition of love is enough for you.

Myth #5: Sex with an ex isn't cheating because you've been there, done that.

Sleeping with an ex is the sexual slip-up people most commonly expect to get away with. It doesn't feel like you're being unfaithful—it's not as if it's with someone new who might expect the sex to turn into a relationship—right? Wrong. Sadly, this is exactly why sex with an ex can have disastrous consequences. You might be having a shag for old times sake, but your ex may be doing it as a desperate bid to rekindle the relationship. So you have to break it off (again) and explain to your current partner why you're suddenly getting e-mails or calls from him after all this time. The chances of getting found out are actually higher than if you'd had sex with a stranger because strangers won't feel the need to write a long, incriminating closure e-mail.

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