Cheating Myths--Relationship Advice from Tracey Cox

Myth #9: Cheating doesn't count if no one finds out about it.

Does cheating really matter if there's absolutely no chance you'd ever get found out, you will never see the person again, you had safe sex, it meant nothing and you told no one? It completely depends on your personality. If you genuinely see nothing wrong with what you did, it probably doesn't. There's just one problem with this theory: Very few people truly believe there's nothing wrong with cheating. Even dodgy people are aware they're doing something "wrong" and this is where it all unravels, as your perception of your partner changes. You're one up on him because you got away with something. This makes him appear either naive and too trusting, or vulnerable and hopelessly helpless. Good relationships are based on mutual admiration and respect, not pitying your partner or secretly thinking they're ignorant.

Myth #10: If there's no sex involved, it's not an affair.

Emotional infidelity—deep, passionate connections between people who often aren't even aware they've crossed the line from platonic friendship to romantic love—is the biggest threat a marriage can face. More than 80 percent of unfaithful people have affairs with someone who'd started out as "just a friend," very often a workmate. In fact, one study showed that 50 percent of unfaithful women and 62 percent of unfaithful men were involved with someone at work. Intense but invisible, erotic but unconsumed, emotional infidelity is dangerous, addictive and way too easy to get away with. If you're often pretending you're single when you're not; if you send secret texts or emails; if you share intimate details of your life with people you fancy and lie to your partner about seeing them, you're an emotional cheater.

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