Photo Credit: Kate Gosselin
I could write a book about laundry, but I haven’t and I won’t because laundry sucks and I hate it and honestly, that’s no way to feel about the topic of your pretend book.
It’s not like I’m a slob who categorically hates cleaning. In fact I’m actually an extreme neat freak who plumps pillows, smoothes cushions and plucks stray molecules of lint from surfaces all day long. But seriously, you’d think I lived with a barracks full of burly linebackers with overproductive oil glands by the amount of filthy clothing they produce. The three laundry baskets on the premises are overflowing constantly, often with suspiciously fresh-looking garments I’m almost positive I haven’t seen anybody wear in the past week, or possibly ever.
I laughed this week when Kate Gosselin tweeted a picture of her laundry room, a shin-deep ocean of disaster that made my own look positively pristine in comparison. It was more of a snort than a laugh, actually; part at-least-I’m-not-the-only-one-living-this-hell and part OMG-I-guess-it-could-be-worse. When I consider my own weekly clothes-cleaning time and extrapolate it to cover eight kids, I stop myself quickly -- lest I accidentally jump off of the nearest bridge. With thirty-six limbs to clothe I might be considering disposable attire or maybe some sort of inside-out rotation system...anything to postpone the inevitable seven-hour date with my two least-favorite appliances.
I know not all moms detest laundry-related chores. My sister actually enjoys her weekly “ironing night”, which she does while she watches her favorite TiVo’d shows and everyone knows not to bother her since she is wielding a fiery piece of equipment. Obviously she was secretly adopted because there is no way we can be related. (I iron for weddings and funerals, period.) Even Kate swears she’s not usually daunted by laundry, but was just having a rare moment of misery in the wake of a trip. Their combined lack of loathing makes me wonder: Are any other moms as maddened and mystified by this one domestic chore as I am? Please say yes.