Civil Ceremonies: What's Involved
My fiance and I are trying to write our own ceremony with the help of a justice of the peace (JP). Can you tell me what the different parts of a ceremony are and what order they go in? I know there is a greeting, a question of intention, vows, an interlude, readings and a blessing, but I don't know how it all goes together. I know the JP will be able to tell us when we meet with him, but I want to come prepared with some ideas. --iVillager sadoski
Question:Dear sadoski:
We love that you're so enthusiastic about making your ceremony special and personal. It's also great that you plan to meet with your JP with ideas already flowing. As you begin to plan your wedding ceremony, we suggest you use this overall concept to guide you: Your ceremony is a public statement of the love you and your fiance feel for each other. It should reflect your values and beliefs, the relationship you have today as well as the direction you hope for it to grow, as you grow together in marriage.
Having a civil ceremony can be as simple as the two of you grabbing a witness or two and making an appointment at City Hall or as extravagant as filling a flower-bedecked tent with eager guests. How detailed and traditional you make your civil ceremony is entirely up to you. Either way, you can have as long or short, as reflective or straightforward a service as you feel is fitting.
The short and simple version of a civil ceremony may consist only of your vows and the pronouncement by the JP that you are husband and wife. Or you may choose to follow the same rituals involved with a religious wedding ceremony, which typically occur in the following order:
1. Processional, where the wedding party and bride (and sometimes the groom) walk down the aisle. 2. Convocation or greeting, where the officiant welcomes guests. 3. Invocation, where a higher power is called upon to witness and bless the union. (You may wish to skip this part if you wish to keep your ceremony secular.) 4. Readings, where poems, biblical passages, songs, etc. are recited by honored guests or by the officiant. These typically reflect sentiments of marriage and love. 5. Address: A speech by the officiant, typically about love and marriage, with specific references to the bride and groom. 6. Expression of intent, where the bride and groom each publicly declare their desire to be married. 7. Vows, where the bride and groom promise each other a lifetime of love and commitment. 8. Blessing and exchanging of rings (the officiant may bless the rings before instructing the couple to exchange them). 9. Pronouncement, where the couple is declared husband and wife. 10. Kiss: The best part! 11. Benediction, where the officiant offers final words of luck and congratulations. 12. Recessional, where the wedding couple and wedding party lead the guests out of the ceremony area.
It's perfectly fine to delete a few of the above steps, if you wish, and to make subtle switches in order. But for the most part, we recommend following the traditional ceremony order. Some switches will be logical; others won't make sense. For instance, if you'll be having more than one reading, you may wish to intersperse them throughout the ceremony instead of having them all in a row. But you'd never swap the order of, say, the pronouncement and vows or put the ring exchange before the expression of intent.
Happy planning, The Wedding Women
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