They were also able to identify what contributed to her being turned on sexually and ways to accommodate one another when one was turned on and the other was not. Each sympathized with the formative conditioning their partner endured, that had been placed between them in their marital bed. They were able to find new approaches to one another in the bedroom that allowed for renewed romance, and greater freedom of expression to respond and not to respond sexually to one another. Sharing their adolescent experiences was one step towards desensitizing their early gender conditioning.
Schedule some private time with your partner to share your sexual experiences and feelings growing up. How did you first learn about sex? What were your initial feelings when you did? When and how did you first experience orgasm? What are your sexual fantasies? Have they changed over the years? Are you comfortable with them or not? Take turns sharing. Listen with compassion to your partner's experiences and stories. Explore stereotypes, whether each partner can say "yes" and "no" to sex without serious repercussions to the relationship, and how each takes responsibility for initiating conditions which promote and encourage sexual satisfaction in the marriage.
Shedding light on sexual thoughts, feelings and fantasies helps you take charge of defining your own sexual relationship. Sharing responsibility for clarifying and developing conditions that promote romance and sexual satisfaction can strengthen your marriage. Simply taking time together to share in this way creates a space in time that says your relationship is meaningful. Attention to your marriage in this way helps give it priority in the midst of busy lives and schedules that can otherwise obscure the nourishment that a couple needs from one another. Your relationship is the foundation of your family. It is well worth the time and energy!