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In her first post-rehab gig, as guest host of Chelsea Lately, Lindsay Lohan proved to everyone that she is back, happy and healthy!
The 27-year-old actress opened up the show on August 5 with a hysterical monologue that poked fun at both herself and Chelsea Handler.
"Chelsea's not here, and I actually don’t know where she is, but I did see someone who looks like her moving into my old room at Cliffside," Lohan cracked about her recent rehab stint. “As you all know for the past 90 days, I have been on a lovely court-ordered vacation in Malibu.”
She went on to give thanks to all of the celebrities who have kept the tabloids running during her 90-day absence from the spotlight and was hysterical while doing so. This included digs at Anthony Weiner, Kanye West, Justin Bieber and the royal baby (played by Chuy, of course!).
Check out her entire opening monologue below:
After a commercial break, Lohan sat down with comedians Jen Kirkman, Brad Wollack and Fortune Feimster to make fun of the news of the day.
One quip included One Direction singer Harry Styles, and his rumored bisexual relationship with a DJ. Lohan playfully joked, "Been there!" She continued by commenting on the Russian gay-rights activists who dumped vodka to protest Russia's new laws. Lohan responded, "Waste of good vodka." She then joked about how she is allergic to the alcoholic beverage that got her into trouble many times in the past. "I wind up in rehab or jail."
She even poked fun at actress Kristen Stewart for telling off the paparazzi last week. "Yeah, I’m just excited that Kristen Stewart, you know, finally showed some emotion."
We know Lohan has promised to stay clean before, but this time we actually believe her. Not only did she look great, but she also seemed comfortable and at home in front of the camera. If her successful stint as guest host didn't convince you, maybe this will: The actress is currently apartment hunting in New York City to get away from her demons back in Los Angeles. "The goal is to have her sober coach live with her full time," a source close to Lohan told E! News.
She even cancelled a trip to Europe to ensure that she continues to take her recovery seriously. "She doesn't think it is the right thing to do so soon after rehab, what with all the temptations that a jaunt around Europe has to offer,” said the source. "She is being very smart about all this."
The actress already sat down with Oprah Winfrey for a post-rehab interview that will air on Aug. 18 on Oprah's Next Chapter. She will also be filming a eight-part-docu-series with the network.
If these steps don't equal sober living and a career revamp, we don't know what will. Hopefully the actress can continue her recovery and return to the big screen where she clearly belongs!
Teresa Roca is an iVillage contributing writer. Follow her on Google+.