Photo Credit: Don Farrall/Photodisc/Getty Images
Infertility is heartbreaking for couples who want children but are unable to get pregnant or have repeated miscarriages. According to the National Infertility Association, one in eight men and women in the U.S. are diagnosed with infertility -- the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected sex (six months if the woman is over 35), or the inability to carry a pregnancy to term. In honor of their struggles, women on the Infertility Support boards shared how the experience has shaped them.
“My dear husband and I did everything right: Got married, got jobs, got a house, had money. It was natural the baby should come next. I guess God never got that memo. It is frustrating, because I see everyone else passing me by on the road, their cars full, and they are shouting, ‘You don't know how lucky you are not to deal with screaming kids.” Sometimes I want to shout back, ‘You do not understand how badly I want that headache,’” says southerngirl1014.
“Every time I walk into one of the spare bedrooms that we plan to make our nursery, I can't help but wonder if it will ever be filled by our child. The longer time goes on and the older I get, the more I am starting to envision life without kids, and it makes me really sad,” says em_faerie.
“There have been times when I thought, I just can't do this anymore, because it's too much heartache month after month after month. But then I read your stories and how much you all have been through, and I slowly pick myself up from the blow and move toward next month,” says kbacon1405.
My husband and I have only just begun talking about having kids. At 37, I know I’m late to the game. Though it’s taken me this long to come around to wanting children, I realize that my life would feel rather empty without them. Having kids is something we all assume we can do, and if that is taken away, I imagine it’s one of the most difficult realities to have to accept. It’s nice to know that our iVillage members have each other to lean on, when it’s something that so few of us can truly understand.