The Sky Is Falling! (So Says Jesse Ventura)

"Global cover-ups. Mind control. Secret societies. You don't think this stuff is real? Think again. I've heard things that will blow your mind, and now I'm ready to talk."

And the winner for most tantalizing promo in television history goes to…Jesse Ventura, for truTV's Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura. Who wouldn't want to watch such a mind-blowing, eye-opening, life-altering series?

If Chicken Little were a TV show, it would be called Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura. The baritone-booming host has always been an outlandish character, whether he was hurling chairs at opponents in the WWF ring or hosting state dinners as the governor of Minnesota. But not even his political pedigree is enough to lend this show any gravitas. Since it premiered in December, Ventura and his investigative "experts" have looked into allegations both silly (a government mind control program transforms citizens into assassins) and dangerous (global warming is just an elitist scam). And this week's episode is the closest the series has come to an actual "sky-is-falling" pronouncement.

Titled "Apocalypse 2012" (Wed, Jan. 13, 10 PM ET), the episode focuses on the claims that the world will end in 2012. But that's not all, folks. Ventura will interview people who believe that "the government is preparing to save and protect 'the elite' while leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves." Preparations encompass underground bunkers "including the largest, now under construction beneath a major metropolitan airport."

Like all of Conspiracy's topics, this premise is far-fetched by design. In Ventura's defense, though, this one is also the subject of the recent movie, 2012 (which has grossed over $160 million); and there are numerous books, videos and websites dedicated to the idea that something weird will indeed happen on December 21, 2012 -- the day that the Ancient Mayan calendar ends. "There isn't much information regarding what the Mayans thought would occur in 2012, but the consensus is that there will be great change," says professional Nervous Nelly, Robert Bast on his Web site. "To some people this means a positive, spiritual change. Others, like myself, consider that a catastrophic event may have been predicted…There are numerous things that could easily threaten the human species…such as a geomagnetic reversal, asteroid strike or supernova. Or something more intimate, like a flu pandemic, or a nuclear war."

Honestly, though, I'm not buying it. To me, the scariest thing about the series is that its host was once elected governor of an American state. I understand that you can't necessarily trust my opinion, though. Who's to say that the government isn't controlling my mind? Or that I'm not one of the secret elite who knows they'll be under government protection? Trust no one, people. Trust no one.

Do you believe any of the conspiracy theories that Jesse Ventura has investigated? Chime in below!

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