Coping with His Wandering Eye

Dear Sherry:

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, and we have been living together for the past year. Most of the time we get along wonderfully, but he has a bad habit of looking at other women while he is with me, which makes me feel unloved and unattractive. We have had numerous arguments about this, and he understands how I feel. However, he says it's a habit that doesn't mean anything. He says he knows he is taking chances with our relationship, but he is not sure why or how he can overcome this. Please help.



Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Kfs:

Lots of guys develop what I call "strained neck syndrome," caused by their constantly turning around to give an extended look-see at any women who fleetingly pass within eyeball range. This is rude, even cruel. Yet they don't seem able to stop even after repeated promises to the women who want to be their sole focus.

But there's a HUGE difference between looking and touching the merchandise. Do you suspect your boyfriend of cheating or just of staring? If it's just the latter, give him a taste of his own medicine. When you're out on a date, start craning your neck to check out the hot hunks in the area. I'd bet my advice-giving license that your boyfriend would be hurt and angry at your behavior and ask you to stop. Tell him you'll stop when he stops. Hopefully you won't both come down with whiplash before he starts focusing his orbs more exclusively on you.

Good luck and happy hunk-watching.

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