Coping with Long-Distance Relationships

"You know you have something special if someone hundreds of miles away is honest enough, and respects you so much, to be true only to you and wait until the day you can be together." --hackx

Some of us just aren't lucky enough to fall in love with the guy next door. No, we make it hard on ourselves by carrying on with someone hundreds, maybe thousands, of miles away. Surviving on phone calls, emails and occasional visits, we somehow carry on because ... well, he's special. Here's real advice on making a long-distance relationship work (and some real admissions on how hard it can be) from iVillagers who are doing it every day.

The Problems We Face

Long-distance relationships are never easy, that's for sure. Without seeing him regularly, sometimes we wonder whether we're doing the right thing, whether we can really trust that other person. Rena07 voices the fears and frustrations of every woman who's been in a long-distance relationship when she asks, "How do you know if he still thinks of you? How do you know if he still loves you? Or if he ever did? How do you know if he's being faithful? How do you know if he's the right one?"

To which annabelee responds, "What do your heart and instinct tell you? What do his actions and words tell you? Nothing is ever certain, but these questions should reveal a lot. Long-distance relationships require a lot of faith and trust, because you're apart so much." She also points out that there are ways one can judge his interest and intentions, even from afar: "I can understand having doubts once in a while, but if it's a constant and overwhelming feeling, something may be wrong. Maybe he isn't giving you the assurance you need. Does he call when he says he will? Does he talk about the future? Does he send cards, flowers, etc., to remind you how much he thinks about you? All these little things and actions help build your trust and faith in him and the relationship. If everything seems fine, it might just be jitters or insecurity that you have to work on."

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