Coping With Miscarriage advice at iVillage Pregnancy & Parenting

My wife recently miscarried and I have no idea what to do to help her through this. Can you help?


Peg Plumbo CNM

Peg Plumbo has been a certified nurse-midwife (CNM) since 1976. She has assisted at over 1,000 births and currently teaches in the... Read more

Emotional recovery from miscarriage may take many months. Some women can still recall the pain of a miscarriage into their old age.

Supporting your partner while you may yourself be grieving the loss of a son or daughter of your dreams can be very difficult. You need emotional support as well. Try to talk to your wife about the loss. While it will bring up fresh memories, it is best to communicate openly about your feelings. Like you, many people just don't know what to say, so they err on the side of caution, ignoring the situation.

Keeping the lines of communication open helps a couple move together through the stages of grief. With eventual acceptance, comes the energy to move on.

Postpartum depression may occur after a miscarriage, not only following a full-term pregnancy. You may notice symptoms such as lethargy, decreased appetite or moodiness. If you observe that your partner has significant depression, contact her care provider immediately. Professional counseling may be needed and can be very helpful in recovery.

It is not unusual for the couple to notice marital discord and discontent following a pregnancy loss. A short-term counseling session may assist you both with coping strategies.

Miscarriage is a crisis, but with appropriate guidance, care and support, you both will recover -- but never forget.

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