Photo Credit: THE KOBAL COLLECTION / WALT DISNEY PICTURES
"If you want this choice position,
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sorts!"
-- The Perfect Nanny, Mary Poppins
A Queens, N.Y., couple might also add:
"Carry good health proof from your doc
Admit to drugs -- weed, coke or rock?
Tell how often you wash your hair
Spent time in juvie? We care!"
The website Gawker found a 65-question online survey from a family looking to hire a nanny linked to a Craigslist posting recently (the ad has since been removed), and it's hard to believe the couple could ever find anyone that meets their qualifications.
"Grab your umbrella! You are a magical Mary Poppins, a wizard or a giant spiky Triceratops," the ad read, according to Gawker. "You love to play, pretend, create, teach and nurture. You are reliable, warm and fun, but also know how to say 'no' when necessary."
Okaaay. Not sure what that dinosaur reference means, but we'll go with it. But, then, the long, long, long list of questions set in. Gawker said questions ranged from U.S. citizenship status to whether you'd be willing to submit a doctor's bill of good health to "Will you provide a letter from your doctor listing all your current prescription drugs?"
Grooming seems of interest to this couple, too. According to the website, bathing and hair washing practices are addressed, as well as birth order, time spent in juvie, traffic citations and drug use (with an incredibly detailed list including everything from Adderall to mushrooms to Ketamine to cocaine to LSD. We shudder to think what "Other" might mean).
Another sample question: "How often do you smoke weed?"
They'd also like to know what you think about breastfeeding and what you'd do during nap time and they ask you to select from 12 -- yes, 12 -- situations, noting whether or not they'd cause you to wash your hands. (One option is "When hands are visually dirty." Is that a trick question?)
Look, we know how important it is to thoroughly vet any person you intend to hire to spend time with your kids. No one wants a non-bathing crack head who doesn't wash her hands after changing a diaper or a pill-poppin' scofflaw who wasn't a first-born child responsible for our little ones' care. We get that. (Well, maybe we don't get the birth order deal, but whatever.) Because, questions? Well, they gotta be asked. And, we admit, maybe this list even serves as a reminder that the truly important job of babysitting deserves some tough interviewing.
But this line of questioning? We're gonna go ahead and call it "totally absurd." And, as Gawker notes, probably highly illegal. The only question they seemed to leave out? "Without using Google, spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
Now, a correct to answer to that one just might land them the magical Mary Poppins they seek. We can't be sure if it would guarantee a spiky Triceratops, though.